God Wants Your Heart More Than Your Art

This summer Poiema Visual Arts will be holding its very first biennial art conference, “Finding Our Place: The Artist, the Church & Placemaking,” in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. As we prepare for this exciting event, we want to introduce you to some of the unique individuals who will be presenting this year. Our speakers bring together a rich mix of experiences that we feel sure will encourage and challenge all who attend. 

Today, we are privileged to introduce you to Deborah Nell, a prophetic artist who creates using mixed media techniques. Deborah will be presenting a breakout session at our conference titled “ Called to Co-Create.” We invite you to lean in as Deborah shares how her creative journey has taught her a foundational truth – God wants your heart more than your art. 

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When the Lord called me to paint for Him in 2007, I said yes to that call. As time went on, I began to see myself as an artist that painted for the Lord. Without realizing it, my identity became more about what I did than who I was without my art. This was an error in my thinking that the Lord wanted to correct. He has a way of letting us know when we have missed the mark. It is His desire that our minds are renewed and we see clearly who we are in Him. This is a story of exactly how He did that for me. 

I had done several outdoor art shows where I displayed my art in a white canopy tent. I had been fairly successful in doing this and was ready to take a big step in applying to an indoor three day event in Maryland. I had heard about Sugarloaf Art Events and knew they were very expensive but if you did well, it was well worth the money and the time. I was thrilled  when I found out I was accepted to Sugarloaf. I prepared by making new art greeting cards, making sure I had enough prints and all my paintings were framed and ready to display. My husband Craig, who is my best supporter and enthusiast of my art, was with me to help set up and help man my booth. When we arrived to set up, I realized that an indoor event is quite different than an outdoor event. Everyone had brought  lights for their booths. The lights highlighted their work and brought sophistication to their booth. I set up my booth without lights and prayed for the best. As I spoke with some of the other vendors I realized that most of them had displayed and sold their work for many years at Sugarloaf. As customers began to come into the event, I was excited and a little apprehensive. As I sat at my booth watching people pass by, I smiled and tried to make eye contact. I’m not naturally an outgoing person but I tried to engage people who were walking past my booth. A few people stopped and looked at my work but few people purchased anything. By the end of the first day I had made a few cards and print sales. I was very disappointed. 

On the way home, we decided to purchase some lights at Lowes and see if that might make a difference. The second day brought a few more interactions but as I sat in my booth watching the other vendors make sales, I sensed that the Lord wanted to talk to me. I started to listen and heard Him say that I needed to be ok if I never made another sale in my life. I needed to know that His love for me was not dependent on the sales I made or the paintings I created. He wanted me to know that He loved me because he loves me. The Lord certainly had my attention. A certain peace came over me as I watched people pass by my booth. I was almost glad that I was not selling a lot of art. If I had sold a lot, I would never have heard the Lord speak to me as He had. I had spent so much time painting for the Lord and selling my art, that I had lost touch with the truth of who I really was. I was His daughter. My worth was not dependent on how much art I created or sold. My identity was rooted in Him. I didn’t have to perform for Him to earn that love. I knew that in my head but now I was learning it in my heart. On the third day, I made a few more sales and contacts but I never recouped my money for the booth. It didn’t matter because I felt such a peace as I sat in my booth and talked with the Lord about how He saw me. 

The very next weekend I received an invitation to exhibit my art at an event in a little town in PA. It was the Saturday right before Mother’s Day. Downtown businesses were partnering with local artists to bring in more people into their places of business. God truly has a sense of humor because I was assigned to a mortuary. There was one artist outside and I was stationed inside. I was given several walls to hang my art and I was the first thing people saw when they came to visit. To my delight I sold several cards and prints and even some originals. There were maybe a total of 100 people that came through the mortuary that day but each person that came looked at my work and commented positively. This was such a contrast to the many hundreds of people that passed by my booth each day at Sugarloaf in Maryland. Later that evening I painted live at a monthly Christian event in York which I regularly paint for. I sold my painting that night as well. At the end of the day I had made more in one day than I made in three days at Sugarloaf. And in addition to that, there were no fees to accompany showing my art or painting live. The Lord was certainly showing me that I didn’t have to worry about sales. I just needed to trust in Him and know my value in Him. He would take care of the rest. Only God could have created the kind of day I had where I sold my art in a mortuary. That is the last place I would have thought to sell my art. But God knows what we don’t know. He knows that He wants our hearts more than He wants our art. He also knows when we stray from that truth and He knows how to get us back on track.